my decision to use a midwife...

I found out we were pregnant with our first after we had been married only four months. Shocked was an understatement. I always knew I wanted to be a mother - someday. The mister and I had plans to be married for about two years and then try to have a baby - we knew we wanted to be young parents and didn't want to wait too long to start a family. But the Lord in all his magnificent timing proved us so wrong.

But neither of us had any experience with children. As in, neither of us had ever even changed a diaper! I babysat older kids while in high school but that was more of playing baseball outside or watching them ride their bikes... nothing to do with changing diapers, spit-up, bottles.

So after I got that positive on that test, I went to google. What exactly are you supposed to do after you find out you're pregnant? Well, you find a doctor. I did a quick search for doctors in Lexington. I just used the free clinic throughout college and since I was not a student anymore I hadn't found a doctor of my own. I called a local place and just told them I was pregnant and I guess I needed to make an appointment? I was so clueless. 

The lady on the phone was so nice. She told me congratulations! and asked if I had a preference and I told her I was open to anyone - I figured if I didn't like them I would just choose a different doctor the second time. I got the positive when I was four weeks pregnant, my first appointment was not scheduled until eight weeks. And we didn't tell a soul we were pregnant until after we had an honest to goodness confirmation from  a real doctor. Let me tell you, that was one long month!

Well, little did I know there were three midwives at this particular practice and she scheduled me with one of them. I always knew I wanted a natural birth for various reasons, and so I think it was really just a God thing that I got scheduled with a midwife. and since I had gone the midwife route - I saw each of the midwives at one appointment or another.

My appointments looked just the same as if I had a doctor. Each time I got my weight, blood pressure, and urine checked. I even thought about scheduling an appointment with a doctor to see what the differences were. (Luckily a friend told me midwives typically spend more time with their patients then doctors - so I probably would have just been disappointed!) But, they would listen to the heartbeat and then just ask what questions I had. I think one of the biggest differences in a doctor and a midwife is the midwife listens to you  more. You get as much say as you want (unless medical intervention is necessary, in which case the midwives I'm familiar with practice under an obstetrician... should you need that). Of course there are some excellent doctors that are an exception. But I am blown away by how many women I've heard say, "My doctor said I had to be induced." "I had to have a c-section for this or that reason." or whatever. I didn't want any doctor to tell me that... I wanted to be able to trust my doctor/midwife would keep my best interest at heart and not make a decision regarding my body and baby based on her schedule or personal preference in any way.

When we got later into my pregnancy I of course expressed my opinion to have a natural birth. Our son was breech until 37 weeks so I would have had a c-section had he not flipped. Let me also just say... it's about impossible to try to mentally prepare for a c-section while also prepping as much as possible for a natural, epidural-free birth.  But she told me she really believed he would flip - and if not by 39 weeks she recommended I see a chiropractor who specialized in pregnancy and had a very high success rate of getting breech babies to flip. Luckily that wasn't necessary! But she was very supportive of my decision and just told me we would see how my labor progressed and what I needed when the time came. I think she wanted to be sure I wouldn't feel disappointed in myself had I made the decision to have an epidural.

Now if I had requested an epidural, that would have happened. I actually had a very, very long labor and considered it very strongly at around 8cm. And my midwife was there to talk to me about that - if it was something I wanted, she would make it happen. She also reminded me that I was very close to having my baby and I had done such an exceptional job. She even told Michael that I was the nicest pregnant woman in labor she'd ever seen... something I may be a little proud of, too. :) It all encouraged me to keep going and I am so, so, so thankful that I did and I had the support of my husband and such a great midwife behind me.

A big difference, too, between doctors and midwives is I feel like is after 36 hours of labor... no one ever told me that things weren't progressing quickly enough. I took up an entire room in the labor and delivery section of the hospital for over an entire day and no one rushed my progress. The baby was healthy, I was tired but hanging in there and there was no reason to pump drugs into my body. I will mention I did have Stadol  - It helped me take a 30 minute nap and after zero sleep for two days I am everso thankful that that was an option. I remember falling asleep asking the nurse, "how long does it take to...." and I was out. So, I say take the drugs if you need them - but if you don't want them... don't let anyone force them on you or talk you in to them. Just be sure you trust your chosen provider to keep your interests in mind - not what would be more convenient for them. (As in if you have an epidural, that slows down labor, then they give you Pitocin to speed things back up... faster then your body may actually be ready for).  

I had our son on a Sunday, the following Monday there were 30 babies born - 24 of them via c-section. That rate is absurdly high and I feel like with more than one of those cases the doctor probably said you're not progressing quickly enough, the baby is in distress or SOMETHING and forced a c-section. That just breaks my heart. This is totally my opinion, I don't know if the doctors actually said those things - I can only imagine they must have for the number of c-sections to be so high. Of course I am thankful for the medical advances of our day and realize they have saved lots and lots and lots of women and babies lives... but they need to be done only when they're necessary, not because they're more convenient. For our country to have a c-section rate of 34% that screams that something isn't right.  We need to trust our bodies more and perhaps trust some doctors less. I found a quote once that I loved and I haven't forgotten. "We have a secret in our society and it isn't that labor is hard... it's that women are STRONG." I can't remember where I heard it first, but it is so, so true and I just love it.

My midwife opened a practice of her own and I was very excited to continue to be a patient of hers. She no longer delivers at the hospital where our son was born so I will be delivering baby girl at a different hospital this time around. One that actually was recently entirely renovated and is less than a mile from our home. But my appointments still look almost exactly the same as they did the first time around. If I need an ultrasound, though, that is scheduled under the obstetrician that my midwife practices under but that's not been an issue so far. The hospital and my midwives practice are less than 2 minutes from each other!

The most important thing you can do for yourself and for your baby is just be educated. It's a totally personal preference to use or forgo an epidural or other drugs or to use a midwife or doctor. Unfortunately there just aren't many people these days who are in support of natural births. I cannot tell you the number of people who said to me after expressing my desire for a natural birth, "Oh you just wait..." "Yeah, you say you don't want an epidural now..." When all I wanted was someone to say, "Wow, that's awesome... I wish you the best." But only a handful of women were encouraging about that decision. I would mention I didn't want an epidural and people would do nothing but look at me like I was nuts and try to discourage that decision. That's one reason I try to be so supportive of women who are interested... because it is such a beautiful thing. I don't want to force my opinion on people - because like I said - it's a totally personal thing. But if a women mentions to you it's something she's interested in... don't discourage her! Because it is hard work and she needs people rooting for her. If it's something that didn't interest you... that's fine! But don't push your opinion on her or make her feel like she's a fool for not choosing your route.

Just think about what you want for you and your family. Ask your doctor/midwives what their take on certain issues such not using epidurals (I've heard stories of doctors refusing to even consider delivering a baby without an epidural) or pushing in different positions is. (I have a friend who's doctor would not deliver her baby unless she was on her back.... just ridiculous!) But do your research and just trust your body and your own instincts.

Michael and I watched the Business of Being Born by Ricki Lake and we both HIGHLY recommend it. It is just really, really encouraging and gives you some insight into just how rare a natural birth is - in fact many doctors and med students in the video had never even seen a natural birth! Of course the video is a little one sided - but it being the side we're both on - we were totally in support of just about everything. I recommend watching it just to realize what you agree with or don't agree with. I also read a LOT. Probably too much - but the point is - just educate yourself. 

Another quick thing worth mentioning - it costs the same to use a midwife or a doctor in both situations I've been in (with two separate practices). Pretty neat! I can't imagine not having my midwife now... I'm so thankful for that lady who answered the phone and made me an appointment with her over three years ago. I can't say enough good things about her! If you have any questions... please send them my way. I love this stuff :)

the nursery: progress take 2

So about two weeks ago I posted before pictures of the nursery... you can check those out here. It's about time I updated you all on what it looks like in it's more current state. :) (Sorry for that dumb black speck in the corner of nearly all the pictures, it looks like I need to clean my camera!)

After going back and forth on what I wanted for this nursery, we decided to paint the walls initially with gray and white stripes... And then after talking to a decorator friend of mine she said it might look too... not girly and a little stale since this particular room is so tiny. She suggested yellow and gray stripes to make it a little more feminine but I wasn't a fan of those two colors right next to each other. So I had the idea to add a small white stripe in between the two.

 The colors we used were Daffodil by Sherwin Williams and Urban Sunrise by Valspar but both colors were matched to a no-VOC valspar paint, which is much more expensive per gallon but we had to just tell ourselves it was worth it. Very, very happy with the color! Basically we decided we wanted four yellow stripes and five gray ones with a two inch white stripe in between. The last gray stripe is 13 inches where all the other stripes are 8. The last stripe is a bit wider because we didn't want to measure everything to come out exactly because we would have ended up with some weird numbers... and neither of us like math that much. ;)

 Basically we measured the entire wall and marked off where each stripe would go with a pencil - we did this five different times at varying places on the wall and then we used painters tape and connected each of the pencil marks. That may or may not make sense... if you have any questions, let me know :) The tape we would highly, highly recommend for stripes is the green frog tape - not the blue painters tape. It's a little more expensive but worth it. For a few stripes at the end we ran out of the green tape and used the blue - and you can definitely tell.

Michael told me Monday night, "Don't come upstairs til I tell you" and my love set up the crib! I love it. Big brother also really loves it. Yesterday he carried every single book from his bedroom into sissy's room, wanted to lay in her bed while I sat on the floor and read to him. This is his favorite room in the whole house now!

The crib we bought is this one, from Target. It's not as eco-friendly as I wish it were - but it was the least expensive I found that I also loved. It is solid wood (from my search this is pretty rare - but something you want!) lead free and non-toxic... and at $129 I felt like we couldn't do much better! We also had to wait a really long time for them to bring it to us after they brought out a wrong one - so we also got it for 10% off. I love it when inconveniences save you some money. :) The crib mattress we were a little more particular on. It's this one, also from Target. It doesn't have any chemicals, is non-toxic and has an organic cotton cover. I wish we could have gotten a totally organic mattress, but unfortunately those are quite a bit out of our price range. Luckily, though, I feel really good with this option. This was one of my favorite posts to reference when looking for eco-friendly/safer options regarding cribs and mattresses.

We still have a few more things to do in here - but I'm very happy with the progress! This is Big brother's old dresser (which also happened to be my dad's and then mine!) But it is getting really old and just not as functional as it used to be, so we did find one on Craigslist that my dad is painting white for us - this one is just a placeholder until then. But most of her clothes are somewhat organized in there and also the closet which feels pretty good.

Next up on our list - I'm hoping to make a crib skirt and also a cornice for the window. Then just decide on a place for the furniture... the rocker from Brother's room is also going to be moved in here and we're going to give him a big, comfy reading corner instead. He does love the rocker but I'm hoping he'll love his corner even more :) Then hang some photos and find some art/mirror for above the crib and I think we're set! For now, of course... I'm sure I'll continue to tweak it after she's here but really happy to see we're making progress :) Next update will hopefully be of the nursery all finished up!

I had a midwife appointment this morning... baby girl is healthy and measuring a bit small. She and our son have actually measured exactly the same at nearly all of our appointments. My weight has been almost exactly the same throughout this pregnancy as it was last time too!

My midwife thinks there's a good chance I'll deliver her early and while that is super fun to hear, I'm not going to hold my breath! Big brother was 3 days past our "due date" and each of those days were really, really long ones. I woke up thinking, "Today is going to be the day!" And of course it wasn't. And when his birthday actually did come along it was exactly how it was supposed to be. But I know due dates are totally arbitrary and I think I just have an even better grasp of that this time, even though I'm sure I'll be disappointed if I'm still pregnant on June 26. But this time I think I'll know to really and truly cherish my last few nights of uninterrupted sleep if she is a day or two past her 'due date' :)

I'm not a fan of inductions, at least not for myself. I realize it's totally personal preference but I like that my midwife will 'allow' me to go to 41+ weeks before the word induction will ever be mentioned.

I'm nervous about labor this time. But I'm also really, really excited for it. The first time I was just so nervous - having no clue what to expect. And this time I still don't know what to expect! But I learned the first time that my body is a miracle and also that I'm much stronger than I give myself credit for! I'm excited to experience the whole labor and delivery process again and just see how it differs. It really is the most beautiful thing... I just can't wait to experience it again!

Midwife has told me she expects my labor and the pushing process to be much easier this time, since it was less than two years ago that my body has done this. I was very encouraged by this!

Kind of a random pregnancy update, but it's what's going through my head today :)

Hopefully tomorrow I'll have another nursery update ready to go... painting is all finished and crib is set up! Hooray! :)

thirtyone.

How far along? 31 weeks

Updates on baby: around 16 inches and probably a bit over 3 pounds. I don't know what happened this week but sister is a big time mover now. I love it :)

Symptoms/Body Changes: I'm finally feeling pregnant. As in, I don't feel good a lot of the time. It's surprisingly hard to get up and down... It is just a strain on my body having this big belly. Also, I had more than two people tell me, "How are you going to get any bigger?!" So, yea, it's always fun to hear strangers comment on your body. And I think I just remember how big my belly got with Caedmon I know it's not there yet.

Cravings/Aversions: chocolate chip cookies... I made some homemade ones with a friend this week and I cannot stop eating them!

Getting ready for baby: We had a baby shower (which I'll post about soon) so we have lots of new baby things - I've put Caedmon's dresser into her room and moved the taller dresser into Caed's room. My mom is here so she helped me organize a lot of the clothes. Baby E has so many super cute dresses and shoes already! And we have the crib! The room is totally empty except for the crib box and dresser... it's really starting to feel like a room! And Michael had a friend help him set up the swing in the living room - Caedmon is already pretty used to it.

What I miss: just my old body! 

What I am looking forward to: Finishing the nursery

Weekly wisdom: rest when you need to... and don't overexert yourself. I may have done too much today and now I feel like I'm confined to the couch so I don't get those weird cramps/possible BH contractions? Take advantage of the people around who will do things for you... even if it means you have to wait a bit :)

Here is my twenty-one week belly photo and my thirty-one week photo one more time. She's definitely growing!

interests.

The other day we went to a bookstore in town that has a big children's area, but most importantly, a choo-choo table. Any time I walk into a bookstore with Caedmon he immediately looks up at me and says, "choo-choo?" It's pretty precious. But aren't those things awesome? I've been boys and girls as old as six playing with them and boys and girls less than a year old all playing together with those train tables. It's really awesome to sit back and watch.

So, we went to the choo-choo table and he went at it, connecting the trains and cars and pushing them all around the table. When a little girl Caedmon's age walked over with her daddy. She played with them for less than a minute and then looked up at her daddy like, "Okay, take me somewhere else... these are no fun." And I thought it was just so funny. Caedmon could play with those things for hours. We have trains at home and 95% of the time the first words he says in the morning is "choo choo". He loves, loves, loves them. I actually almost broke down in tears one day when he wanted to play choo choos after dinner because I had sat on the floor pushing trains the entire day.

And this little girl was completely unimpressed.

Today Caedmon wanted to paint - so I got out the brushes and some paint for him and he painted for less than two minutes and went back to playing with his blocks and trains. Painting does not grab his attention. This boy is much more captured by connecting trains, building tracks, stacking blocks, doing puzzles, and reading books. He'll pass on the painting, the coloring, the glueing... almost every time. But I'm still trying to offer up those things to keep him well-rounded, ha :)

Isn't it crazy how kids have such strong interests at such early ages? It's just awesome. I love watching my little guy explore and just learn more and more about the things that he loves and make him smile the biggest.

Photoshoot!

Man, has my blog been all over the place lately or what? I've got house projects, green living ideas, pregnancy updates, as well as just day-to-day stuff with a toddler... sorry for being all over the place - it's just what's going on in our lives right now. :) But to be fun and add one more thing to the mix - I did a photoshoot over the weekend and I thought I'd share a little bit about it.

This was my third photoshoot and I've already got some other sweet families who have agreed to model for me and give me some more practice, which I am so very thankful for! I was going to do a four month shoot for my sweet friend Ashley's daughter when she called and asked if I was up for turning it into a (much) larger photoshoot for her family. I was definitely intimidated but excited to give it a try. Turns out they hadn't had a family photo taken in 10 years! So any pictures were better than no pictures, right? :)

After looking at so many photographers family galleries and reading so many articles/how-tos/forums for how to take photographs for larger families outdoors... I met them at a local park feeling about as confident as possible for someone who has such a limited amount of experience. The most challenging part? Just being the boss - telling people to pose or stand this way or that way. It was difficult to focus on the details while also trying to focus on the more technical details of my camera settings. Which I'm happy to report I'm much more confident with!

It was amazing to me to see how much I've grown after just three photo shoots (in addition to photographing my sweet son all the time)! I've thoroughly enjoyed each one and I just love learning more and more.

So, I thought I'd share just a few of my favorites. I realize I'm a big newbie at this, but I'm loving all that I'm learning along the way. Hope you enjoy!

spring sprucing :)

I mentioned we were so busy with other house projects we haven't spent much time on the nursery. One thing about me being pregnant... Michael's honey-do list gets longer and longer. And as any ultra-sweet husband would, he does each task with a big smile on his face. :)

 :

Task Numero Uno: Paint all the frames in the living room white. We have tons of frames from all over the place and I hoped it would create a look of more continuity. We have a photo collage above our couch that was our focus but now all the frames in here and the ones that will be in the kids rooms are white. :)

So here's a before shot of the collage wall

And then I decided to round up all of the frames around the house, too. After about 2 cans of spray paint (frames have lots of angles... we definitely underestimated the amount of spray paint we needed - but we also did 3 small shelves and several large frames, too!)

And here's my sweet hubs hanging all of it back up. :)

Well, I guess the frames would actually be project two. The first was moving a big black bookshelf from the living room and replacing it with this cubby shelf. When I was nannying I was overwhelmed by the amount of baby things AND toddler things taking over my living room - I think this will be a big help when it comes to putting all that stuff away, it's already much more practical than the bookshelf!

A Katie Daisy print (it actually was a card attached to one of the prints I ordered - but I loved it so much I wanted to frame it!), and a Dr. Suess quote free printable I found here.

 

And here's the completed photo collage above the couch. I love it! I think it looks so much cleaner than before since everything is white. I have two other free printables I found online here and here as well hanging up on this wall. One is Galatians 5:22 and the other is Psalm 118:24 :) I printed all of this stuff at Staples on card stock for about $1 a print... pretty sweet!

Now, onto the next project! Just kidding... sort of. :)